Growing up, my mother experienced depression and anxiety and
my father found himself indulging a little too much in alcohol. Both situations
shaped my life, but it wasn’t until I met my boyfriend in 2002 that I would
spark an interest in the mental health field, especially substance abuse.
In high school, a class in television broadcasting led me to
discover a career path that I thought I would flourish in. After graduation, I
enrolled in college to purse my dreams of being a news anchor. Communications
would become my Bachelor of Arts degree and sociology my minor. I would go on
to work in the field as a copywriter for five and a half years.
Writing has always been a passion of mine. It helps me
channel my feelings in a positive way. However, in 2011 I lost my writing job
due to the economic meltdown. It was
actually the best thing to have happened. While working full-time, I had the
added stress of a 33-year-old alcoholic on my plate. I always told myself I was
never going to follow in my mother’s footsteps and get involved in a relationship
with an alcoholic, but I learned to “never say never.”
My boyfriend, Michael, was a bright young individual with
lots of potential; A graduate with dual degrees with a B.S. in Computer Science and a M.S. in Criminal Justice.
Interviews with job opportunities with the FBI and U.S. Marshalls, unfortunately,
the bottle took everything away. While fighting his disease, I looked at
addiction in a whole new light. Not only did I see it differently, but it
physical changed me as well.
I started experiencing anxiety that forced me to take
medication. It was the only way I could function without having panic attacks.
I knew the situation I was in caused all the chaos internally. The anxiety
eased, but Michael’s situation escalated. His drinking was way out of control
and an intervention would take place.
His father and I sat him down and discussed his problem and
how rehab was the solution. He agreed to go, but after 14 days he left. Of
course a 14 day stent is nothing. He was barely detoxed at that point. He
proceeded to drink until it left him in the hospital with pancreatitis for a
month. The sight of a grown man in a hospital bed with 2 main lines, a
breathing tube, and 14 i.v. bags wasn’t something I expected to see at my age,
especially due to alcohol.
I couldn’t understand why someone would drink themselves to
that point. It wasn’t until his second attempt at rehab did I learn. After the
hospital stay, he was enrolled at an inpatient rehab facility for 28 days. It
would be at this rehab that I experienced my first family weekend. That weekend
changed my view on addiction, alcoholism and my life. I was taught the tools
and basics of the disease and how to help an individual cope.
After he was released, he started his journey of sobriety
and recovery. That journey didn’t last long. He never complied with the
aftercare plan that his counselor put in place. The doctors warned him that if
he didn’t stop drinking he would be dead within a year. The doctors were
correct. Michael passed away June 15, 2012 of alcoholism. His kidneys and liver
gave out. I did everything I could within my power to help him through his
addiction.
Being with him for 10 years was an adventure in itself. His
addiction opened my eyes up to a new world that I never knew existed. I would learn that my dad just liked to go out
for a few beers with his friends after work a couple of nights a week and that
my mom just didn’t like the fact he wasn’t at home with us. His drinking
situation was much, much different than Michael's.
I’ve become engrossed in learning as much as I can about
mental health and addiction. From my personal situation, I’ve learned that I
want to make a career out of it. I want to help others and aid them in any
capacity that I can. My ultimate goal is to work in the addiction field as a
counselor.
I already started a non-profit organization called Campaign
Loud (campaignloud.com). It is an organization spreading awareness about
addiction and trying to change people’s minds that addiction is not moral as it
is a brain disease. I am in the process of making it an official 501 (c) 3
charity. Once I get it official, the fundraising begins to help others with
addiction and their families. I would even like to do speaking engagements.
I am looking forward to studying again. After my boyfriend’s death, I moved back home with my
parents and starting a new life. I have attended some bereavement counseling
sessions and they have helped.
I realized that sitting behind a desk writing copy for
products that people don’t really need isn’t what I want to do with my life. I
want to make an impact. I want to actually help change someone’s life. I feel
that is more valuable to me and my future goals. Michael would want me to do
the same. He told me that he would have already succumbed to his disease
earlier if it weren’t for me. I agree
and I want others to be able to say that I have had a positive impact on their
life as well.
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